The Winter Coat

My hand me down coat and all of my thrift store clothes were torched in a fire set by my landlady. I was 21 and living in Carrboro NC. I decided it was time to leave and return to Providence. It was all too much for me.

 My mother asked me what do you need? Clothes. I said. Mostly just a winter coat. She picked out a mauve puffer floor length which was exactly what I despised. I just want what I had, my brothers down coat. 

She refused to buy me a coat because it wasn't one she would have chosen for herself. She would have taken it back from me anyway. That's what she did. 

At age 13 she bought me women's clothes and stole them back from me because she didn't know I was not her and she was incapable of giving herself what she needed. 

So she'd buy me inappropriate clothing that I wouldn't wear like a hooded dark green wool cape and then steal it back. 

I spent many cold winters without a winter coat until I finally found a gorgeous tweed men's full length coat at the thrift store. I used to bicycle around the city wearing it. It's a relic and occasionally my husband wears it on very cold days. It looks fantastic on him.