Janet and Louisa

"Vagina Facials!" She said, at top volume. Other people in the restaurant looked over at us.

It was embarrassing. 

"I make money selling the kits," she said.

I couldn't believe this was my friend Louisa from childhood spouting all of this pseudo science placebo gimmicks. She now lives in Hinsdale Illinois. Her clients are wealthy housewives with horses and all of their children attend private schools. 

She wore pale pink cashmere and a string of pearls. Her manicured nails were also pink. I studied her diamond engagement ring as she waved her other hand gesturing to the waiter that she'd for a refill on her goblet of organic rosé. Her tiny earlobes had diamond studs. I drank seltzer with an orange slice.

But wouldn't that imply a face? I asked. 

Ah never mind. You're kidding me. She drank the Kool-Aid she was now a saleswoman chasing the big bucks. But the startling thing was she wanted my approval. I am a research scientist with 40 years in the medical field. I have a master's and PhD. So what is this really about?

"Did you know coffins used to be sold at my Great-Grandfather's Hinsdale hardware store back in the day? "In those days, embalming was not practiced, the family would come in an select a coffin and bury the body themselves?" Louisa said stabbing the thin slice of ham on her plate. Entrepreneurs run in the family, she said as if trying on a new identity.

"Hey, Do you remember how our mothers acted like employees who could be fired by their husbands at any moment?" 

I totally do! I said.

"I didn't want to grow up and live like that." Louisa said sipping her wine, leaving a red print on the edge. She checked her watch. "It's been great to see you. Come over for dinner some Sunday afternoon. My husband Alec loves to smoke a whole pig and have a cocktail party on the porch. We're doing another one in a few weeks."