The telephone pole was approaching fast

Some of the craziest things are reported to police officers. Many of these have been reported in newspaper articles. This site is dedicated to sharing many of those funny police reports.

The following are short quotes of actual police reports. They are actual statements either taken directly off of insurance forms or things said directly to the officer taking the report. You know the police officer that took each funny police accident report had a good laugh. They were gathered from a number of sources. We hope you enjoy these quotes and get a good chuckle from them:

“I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it.”

“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.”

“I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.”

“Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.”

“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.”

“No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert.”

“I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”

“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”

“I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash.”

“I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”

“The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.”

“The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.”

“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.”

“I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”

“I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before.”

“I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.”

“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”

“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”

“I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.”

“When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”

“The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.”

“My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.”

“A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife's face.”

“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”

“I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.”

“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.”

“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.”

“The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.”
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