Friday, April 28, 2017

Don’t Pretend that this is Normal

Paul Krugman Article

I can't read about Mr. Chief Narcissist without being transported to my childhood. Christmas Day my mother humiliated me in front of 27 people at the holiday table. She was free associating, but directing it at me, something about masturbation as a toddler. It was the madness of King George just like what's happening in the White House. None of my siblings or relatives or family friends came to my defense. Were they all stunned to silence? I believe so. They knew they were dealing with a powerful narcissist. I don't know which is more painful what my mother said or the silence that followed. I got up and packed my bags and left, driving my little blue VW bug back to Rhode Island. No more holidays.

When I was in high school my mother announced a family vacation to Spain to visit my sister who was studying overseas. "You're staying home because you're no fun to be around!" Again, nobody came to my defense. My powerful father ran his own advertising graphics business in midtown Manhattan but at home, he was powerless. The implications of a family holiday without me still resonate to this day.

I never went back to my original family and I'll announce proudly to anyone who wants to know. "I ran away from home!"