Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Introvert's Nightmare: PLANS

The Seven Steps Of An Introvert's Nightmare
As an introvert, a social event can seem like you're in a scary movie.
by Nicole Baker

Give us monsters, zombies, terror - anything but a social event! Am I right, fellow introverts? Sometimes we just can't handle the crowds, the noise or the people. Sometimes all we want to do is be alone. However, this is not always an option. Life happens, and there are people in your life. For all of those who have had to courageously crawl through a social gathering, this one's for you.

The Seven Steps of an Introvert's Nightmare:

The Invite

"Please, no, I beg you," is what you are thinking. But instead, you hear yourself say "Sure! I'll be there."

The Wait

You shiver with anxiety as you eye the calendar. The day gets closer and closer. You wonder if you can skip it somehow. You think of excuses: You got sick, you have to work. Anything. But, you already told them you would go.

The Arrival

You decide to arrive late. How late is too late? Do you wait 30 minutes, or 10? You park your car around the corner and begin the walk up to the house, despite your instinct telling you to flee.

The Attack

The door opens, revealing a room swarming with excited conversation. This was a mistake, but there is no turning back now. Faces and bodies surround you. An endless stream of voices runs through your ears. You squeeze through the crowd to a table filled with drinks. Anything to ignore the talkative strangers around you. A few people recognized you and call you out.

The Fight Back

You try to remember how to form words and talk like a human. Everyone's eyes are on you as they patiently wait for an answer. An answer? Did someone ask a question? You don't know. You end up mumbling something about your job before pretending to drink more from your cup. The group of strangers seems unimpressed with you and carry out conversations elsewhere. You quickly take this chance to squeeze out of the room while they look away.
The Fortress

You need to get out of here. You can't breathe. You find a bathroom in the house. Perfect. No one would disturb you for the next five minutes, as you crouch behind the locked door. Unfortunately, someone ruins your peace of mind by knocking loudly on the door. Your eternal alarm goes off and you spring out of the bathroom like a frightened gazelle.
The Escape

You come to the realization that you must escape. By any means possible. You're drained and exhausted. You have a headache from the noise. Where are those black dots coming from? The front door is too crowded. Look for a window or back door. Where's your friend? Doesn't matter. No time to waste. You throw your body out an open window, roll over the lawn. You don't stop until you are back at home. Breathing heavily, you collapse from fatigue, vowing to never again set foot out of your house.