Sunday, April 23, 2017


She wanted to come over and cry with me when my dog Lucy died. "No thanks, I said. surprised at the sudden desire to be at mt house under such sad circumstances especially when i never saw her on good days. My father-in-law told me there were people who would crash a funeral in the houses in South Boston. Essentially they were professional grievers. They would show up wearing black and howl and moan crying with the families. This is what Sarah wanted to do with me. She wanted to come over when tragedy happened but never when I was making a pie and inviting her for tea or supper. She only invited me over on Christmas Eve, and it is to take care of her misery. I was repelled. "Sorry I'll be making a quiet supper and staying at home," I told her. There are 364 other days of the year but she isn't interested in those nights because then she'd have to be an adult with adult conversation and that causes her great anxiety. The few times I have ever seen Sarah out in the world she was stoned out of her mind. I can always tell. It's sad to see that when you peel away the pot and pints you get a woman haunted by anxiety and phobias.