Mozell LadyApple

People ask me why I don't like my birthday, why I don't do big birthday celebrations. Except on rare occasions with people I know will understand, I make stuff up.

You seem to be one of those people, so I'll share with you. Life is complex. Thank goodness for senses of humor, appreciation of absurdity, and storytelling,

When I was a little kid, birthdays were fun - my mom had a rule that if we had a party, everybody in the class had to be invited, nobody could be excluded. I loved that. My mom made the parties really fun - games, food, silliness, mirth - great parties in our basement.

Once I got a bit older, however, I'm not sure what was going on with her, but things changed.

One year they forgot my birthday all together but remembered my (unofficially) adopted brother's birthday 2 days later and made a big deal about it. I loved him, so I was and am glad they remembered his birthday. But they forgot mine. And they told me I was overreacting when I was heartbroken about it. I felt erased.

Another birthday, my mom told me that the birthday should be about her not about me, after all it was she who did the work and who gave birth. 

I do wish moms were more celebrated for giving birth, but that's a different subject. The ouch was that she told me my part of the birthday wasn't valid.

Another time she took back the gift she had given me, telling me I didn't deserve it.

Another year I asked for an electric DeWalt drill. She told me I had no business getting a drill that nice, that she'd get me a cheaper one. My solution was to go in 1/2 and 1/2 to get the DeWalt, which I still have and love.

And the weirdest thing is that in my mom's family they had a tradition of buttering the birthday person's nose first ting in the morning. I think it goes back to an older understanding about fat and luck and giving luck by giving fat - very cool in its way and in its time..

But - as a kid and then a teenager, it was horrible to be pinned down in bed first thing in the morning with your parents looming over you, grimacing with smiles, forcing soft butter onto your nose while you screamed and begged for them to leave you alone..

So -  I don't particularly like my birthdays either!

-Mozell LadyApple