Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Body Body

I had no idea that I often painted a yellow-ochre diagonal in my paintings until I saw them all hanging up in a room in my first painting show. I had never noticed this in my studio. Now that I am publishing my writing I am seeing other things about me that I have totally missed, and yet are as obvious as the nose on my face.

For instance, I had no idea that my primary perception of the world is completely physical. My husband is the opposite. His perception is intellectual. When he walks into a room everyone feels it, the helmet of will, Wilhelm. His name even means it. Smart guy! He has developed myriad other strengths as well, and I have tried to counterbalance my body/sensory dominance by developing my imagination, and by writing. We admire our differences. Alien marries alien.

Anyway, I had no idea I was body dominant. Why the heck didn't I become a Rockette! It would have been better suited to me. It's not over yet, I'll wanna be a Ziegfeld Follies woman into my 90's. I admire people who dance for a living, especially ballerinas, yet I know I am too much of a surrealist to be one. I like to dance by swimming in sound, not following steps. When I had run away from home, a stow-away in a loft in Brooklyn in 1976, I used to dance to Blonde On Blonde until I was sure Bob Dylan was me and I was him. We even looked alike! I was alone in the big loft dancing for hours in my wool sailor pants with the 13 buttons, skinny as a scarecrow. Now that I see I am body first, I am going to own up to it.

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