Competition & Sibling Rivalry

The thing about family competition is it's driven by deep childhood feelings of fear, instability, grief and loss.

I have known people who are competitive in their families and I tell them, Whatever it is you do, do it for yourself. 

Please don't bother me.

In my family of origin -- which is no longer my family because I ran away in 1978 after my insanely narcissistic and powerful mother Sonia threatened me with unnecessary surgery, a colostomy!

In my former family I have a relative that seems to be in a perpetual race with me that I am not participating in. Does anyone know about that tree that has fallen in the forest?

I avoid social media now because I posted a photo of a spinach pie last year and one sibling told the competitive one and she was outraged to have missed it. Yup, mentally they are emotionally still in junior high school.

The jealous one is the one thinking this all has meaning. She is the alpha tribal mother imitator. She thinks controlling the information stream means owning the narrative. So does our current president. 

And like the current president, she believes her own lies! Changing her name means changing her ethnicity and DNA! She also thinks that my relationships with other relatives is a loss for her (zero sum game). She is actually in total danger. She is in a freeze, fight or flight, race. She is stuck at age 9 or is it 11 when she'd be beaten up by my parents. They are dead now. But she's in competition with me. So, I keep it a secret who I am in touch with and it will remain so.  AMEN. 

My message (wish) for her is, wake up! Use your brain, woman. Don't soak it with alcohol, and don't be headless. You are fighting your dead mother's unfinished karmic battle with her first husband. Sonia and Tom eloped when Sonia was 18. Sonia was fleeing abuse too.

I am not the person you were programmed to hate. That person sucked out your brain to steal your soul, abuse your body, and dump her unfinished karma. She did this to all of her children and only one survived, pardon me, ESCAPED, to tell the truth. I am this child.

Please do not continue to imitate the most despised woman on planet Earth.